Vata, Pitta, and Kapha in the Mind: Understanding Emotional Balance Through Ayurveda
Not all emotions feel the same, some flutter, some burn, some settle like fog. In Ayurveda, this isn’t a coincidence. Just as each of us has a unique mind-body constitution, our emotional patterns are also shaped by the doshas: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. These elemental energies don’t just govern digestion or skin type. They influence how we think, feel, remember, and respond to life.
In this post, we’ll explore how each dosha expresses itself emotionally; both in balance and in imbalance. We’ll blend ancient Ayurvedic wisdom with modern psychological insight, showing how these patterns affect not only our moods but also our relationships, memory, and nervous system. Most importantly, we’ll explore how to work with the doshas, not against them, to support emotional freedom and inner peace.
Not sure what your dominant dosha is? Take the quiz here before you continue.
Because your feelings were never meant to be suppressed. They were meant to move. And through that movement, you return to the most powerful healing force of all:
your true self.
In Ayurveda, the mind is not separate from the body it is an extension of consciousness, moving and expressing through subtle channels called manovaha srotas. These channels weave throughout the entire body, carrying not blood or lymph, but thought, perception, imagination, memory, and intention.
The state of the mind is shaped by the three maha gunas:
Sattva: clarity, truth, light
Rajas: activity, agitation, desire
Tamas: heaviness, dullness, ignorance
Each guna colors our emotional reality. When Sattva predominates, we experience emotional balance: clear thinking, patience, compassion, and memory of the Self. But when Rajas or Tamas dominate, through overstimulation, trauma, poor diet, or irregular routine, we spiral into mental and emotional imbalance.
This understanding is at the heart of Sattva Vijaya Chikitsa, Ayurveda’s approach to mental health. The goal is not to eliminate emotion but to elevate the mind; to gain victory through Sattva. That means strengthening the qualities of wisdom, self-awareness, patience, and spiritual memory (Smriti), and restoring our connection to pure consciousness.
In modern terms, we might call this the original mind-body medicine. But it is far more holistic than any modern framework, it doesn’t stop at the brain or hormones. It includes all levels of experience, from the physical body to the subtle channels of thought to the unbounded field of awareness.
Ayurveda doesn’t ask, “What’s wrong with you?”
It asks, “What’s out of alignment?”
And perhaps most importantly, it reminds us: you are not your anxiety. You are not your depression. These are expressions of disconnection, not definitions of who you are.
Just as the body reflects our doshic balance, so does the mind. Each dosha expresses itself emotionally in unique ways. And just like the body, when the mind is out of balance, the symptoms are loud, often misunderstood, and deeply tied to how we’ve been living.
Vata in the Mind
When balanced: Vata brings creativity, quick insight, curiosity, and a childlike sense of wonder. The Vata mind dances between ideas with elegance, often catching truths others miss.
When imbalanced: That same mind becomes ungrounded. Overthinking, worry, fear, and restlessness become dominant. The nervous system is overstimulated, and sleep suffers. There's a tendency to dissociate or spiral into “what ifs.” This is when we say, “I just can’t turn my brain off.”
Pitta in the Mind
When balanced: Pitta offers clarity, focus, ambition, and courageous honesty. It allows us to discern truth and act on it with purpose.
When imbalanced: The fire turns inwards or outwards—becoming criticism, perfectionism, irritability, and at times, rage. There may be strong emotional outbursts followed by guilt, or a retreat into silent judgment and resentment.
Kapha in the Mind
When balanced: Kapha brings emotional steadiness, compassion, and the ability to hold space for others. It is nurturing, loyal, and deeply present.
When imbalanced: That beautiful stillness can become stagnation. The Kapha mind can sink into lethargy, sadness, withdrawal, and emotional heaviness that’s hard to move. There may be a tendency to numb or avoid, mistaking stillness for comfort even when it hurts.
Emotions Move Like the Doshas Do
Emotions are not the problem. They’re messengers of imbalance, guides to healing.
Each dosha has its own emotional rhythm and your job isn’t to suppress those rhythms, but to listen, move with them, and restore flow.
Your emotions were never meant to be swallowed.
They were meant to move.
Closing Reflection: Listening to the Mind's Whisper
Take a quiet moment today and ask yourself:
Which dosha feels most present in my mind right now?
How do I tend to respond when that dosha is out of balance?
What might it look like to honor my emotions instead of resisting them?
You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be curious.
Awareness is always the first medicine.
Supporting Emotional Balance Through the Doshas
When the emotional body is dysregulated, so too is the physical body. And vice versa. Here are some ways to gently bring balance back to both.
For Vata Minds (Anxious, Overthinking, Unsettled)
Create calm through routine: same wake and sleep time each day.
Eat warm, moist, grounding meals (like kitchari or root veggies).
Touch the body daily: warm oil self-massage (abhyanga) calms the nervous system.
Limit overstimulation: step away from screens and give yourself silence.
Breath practice: Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) soothes Vata beautifully.
For Pitta Minds (Irritable, Controlling, Critical)
Cool the system with coconut water, sweet fruits, and leafy greens.
Prioritize play and rest over productivity.
Practice self-compassion: perfection is not the goal, peace is.
Breath practice: Sheetali (Cooling Breath) can reduce inner heat.
Cultivate forgiveness, starting with yourself.
For Kapha Minds (Heavy, Stuck, Withdrawn)
Get moving: even a short, brisk walk clears emotional stagnation.
Lighten up the diet: favor spices, bitter greens, and lighter grains.
Seek connection: talk, express, share your heart with someone safe.
Avoid emotional hoarding: journaling or expressive arts can help emotions flow.
Breath practice: Bhastrika (Bellows Breath) stimulates energy and clarity.
Your emotional experiences are not mistakes.
They are intelligent signals from within. Part of your healing, not separate from it.
When you learn to recognize the doshic language of the mind, you gain access to deeper understanding and a more loving relationship with yourself.
And from that place… the real transformation begins.
Much of the understanding shared in this post comes from my graduate training in the MS in Maharishi Ayurveda and Integrative Medicine at Maharishi International University (MIU), particularly from the final course on mental health and Vedic psychiatry. These teachings have deeply shaped how I understand the mind, not as broken, but as a reflection of our inner and outer environments seeking balance. Click the picture below to see what degree programs MIU has to offer!
When We Swallow Our Feelings: How Suppressing Emotions Disrupts Vata
We talk a lot about emotions around here, especially big ones. How they rise up unexpectedly. How they hijack your ability to stay grounded. How they demand to be seen. But what about the opposite? What happens when we don’t express them at all?
What happens when we swallow our feelings whole?
In Ayurveda, there’s a concept known as pratishyaya, the suppression of natural urges. This includes urges like sneezing, yawning, sleeping, and eating, but also emotional urges. The urge to cry. The instinct to shout. The need to speak your truth. These are all considered natural movements of the physiology, and when we suppress them, especially repeatedly, we interrupt the natural flow of energy through the body.
We create imbalance.
Vata and the Flow of Emotion
Vata is the dosha that governs movement. It rules the nervous system, breath, circulation, and the movement of thoughts and feelings. When Vata is healthy and supported, our emotions flow freely. They rise, they are felt, and they move on. But when we suppress those emotions, we disturb the movement of Vata. Emotions become blocked, and Vata becomes irregular.
That’s when things get noisy. You may begin to feel scattered. Restless. Anxious. Or frozen in place. You might find your thoughts racing or completely shutting down. Over time, this suppression becomes a habit and as the Vata imbalance deepens, the symptoms settle deeper into the body and mind becoming chronic.
The suppression of emotional movement is not just a mental experience. It’s a full-body disruption that, when left unchecked, can manifest in physical dysfunctions across the body.
From the Mind to the Gut: What Research Now Shows
Modern science is finally catching up to what Ayurveda has known all along, that the body and mind are deeply connected. How we feel emotionally doesn’t just affect our mood. It affects how our body functions, especially our gut.
In Ayurveda, the gut is considered the foundation of all health. It's where we digest not just food, but experiences. And when we suppress emotions — when we swallow our truth or bottle up what we feel, it can disrupt digestion on every level.
Recent studies now show that our emotional state is directly linked to the balance of bacteria in our gut. One 2020 study by Lee et al. found that people who had more positive emotions tended to have more diverse and resilient gut bacteria, but only if they had a particular type of microbiome known as Prevotella-dominant. Those with a different gut profile (called Bacteroides-dominant) didn’t show the same benefit.
In other words, the type of bacteria in your gut may affect how your emotions shape your health and vice versa.
Another fascinating study from Ke et al (2023), focused specifically on women, looked at how different emotion regulation styles impact gut health. It found that women who habitually suppressed their emotions had less diverse microbiomes, and their gut bacteria were more likely to be associated with negative emotional states like sadness, stress, or anxiety.
It didn’t stop there. These women also had lower levels of activity in some key biological systems, like energy production and cellular repair. In short: emotional suppression wasn’t just impacting how they felt. It was affecting how their bodies healed, energized, and functioned at a foundational level.
Let’s pause here.
That means when you hold back tears, smile when you want to scream, or keep quiet about what hurts, your body listens. It adapts. It shifts. And if that becomes a pattern, it begins to rewire itself around the suppression.
All of this points back to what Ayurveda teaches: all health begins in the gut, and the gut is deeply influenced by the state of our mind and emotions. When we suppress what we feel, we weaken our agni, our digestive fire. Over time, that leads to confusion in the tissues (dhatus), depletion of our vital energy (ojas), and instability in the nervous system (vata).
The science confirms what the sages already knew: suppressing emotions isn’t just a bad habit, it’s a root cause of imbalance.
The Ayurvedic View: Where Emotions Settle in the Body
Ayurveda teaches us that unresolved emotions don’t just vanish — they accumulate. And depending on the doshic quality of the emotion, they settle in specific parts of the body.
Anxiety, being cold, mobile, and light, belongs to Vata. It builds up in the colon, where Vata resides.
Anger, with its sharp, hot nature, is linked to Pitta. It accumulates in the liver, small intestine, and spleen, the seat of Pitta.
Depression, being heavy, cool, and dull, reflects Kapha. It tends to settle in the lungs and chest, where Kapha governs stability and emotion.
When these areas become congested with unprocessed emotional residue, it disrupts the srotas, the subtle channels through which energy and nourishment flow. Especially affected is the manovaha srotas, the channel of the mind, which is rooted in the heart.
This isn’t just metaphor. In Ayurveda, the heart is seen as the central processing hub for emotional experience. It is home to the ten great vessels that connect mind and body. So when feelings become stuck and stagnant, the heart bears the burden. It’s why we use phrases like “with a heavy heart,” “heartache,” or “a change of heart.”
The language reflects the body’s truth.
Blocked channels in the heart center affect not only our emotional processing, but also circulation, hormonal balance, breath, and perception. If left unaddressed, emotional congestion here circulates throughout the entire body.
Returning to Flow: How to Heal Emotional Suppression
The first step to healing these imbalances is simple but not easy: end what is causing the imbalance and feel your feelings. Create space for emotional truth, not judgment. Honor what arises. Don’t run from it, don’t shame it, and don’t try to logic your way around it. Instead, let yourself move through it.
That might look like:
Crying without apology
Screaming into a pillow
Journaling what you wish you could say out loud
Speaking honestly to someone who hurt you or simply to yourself
After emotional expression comes the sacred work of restoring flow in the body.
Try:
Chetan Asana: A subtle, deeply grounding yoga sequence that reconnects body and mind
Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing): Soothes the nervous system and re-establishes Vata’s rhythm
Vata balancing diet: Warm, nourishing foods, spiced stews, ghee, and sweet, sour, and salty flavors
Soothing your environment: Use gentle lighting, natural textures, calming scents like lavender.
Transcendental Meditation: A reliable technique for integrating body and mind into a state of deep harmony and rest
These practices invite Vata back into rhythm. They tell the body it is safe to flow again.
A Reflection for You
Take a moment. Pause your scroll, your racing thoughts, your next task. Ask yourself gently:
What feelings have I been holding back?
Where do I feel tension in my body that I haven’t named?
What would it look like if I gave that emotion space to move?
Now imagine what might shift if you did.
You don’t have to scream in the forest or spill your secrets on social media. But you do have to listen to your body. To trust that your emotions are messengers, not mistakes. That they are part of your internal wisdom.
The next time you find yourself choking down a feeling or tensing your chest to keep the tears in, ask yourself: What would happen if I just let it move?
Coming Soon: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha in the Mind
In the next post, we’ll explore the unique emotional expressions of each dosha. What it looks like when Vata governs the mind in balance and out of it. How Pitta’s fire can become clarity or rage. How Kapha brings emotional steadiness or emotional heaviness.
We’ll also look at practices to restore emotional balance by working with the doshas, rather than against them.
Because your feelings were never meant to be suppressed. They were meant to move. And through that movement, you return to the most powerful healing force of all:
Our true self.
References
Ke, S., Guimond, A.-J., Tworoger, S. S., Huang, T., Chan, A. T., Liu, Y.-Y., & Kubzansky, L. D. (2023). Gut feelings: Associations of emotions and emotion regulation with the gut microbiome in women. Psychological Medicine, 53(15), 7151–7160. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291723000612
Lee, S.-H., Yoon, S.-H., Jung, Y., Kim, N., Min, U., Chun, J., & Choi, I. (2020). Emotional well-being and gut microbiome profiles by enterotype. Scientific Reports, 10, Article 20736. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-020-77721-y
Chetan Asana
When Anxiety Hijacks Your Plans
I had plans. A full evening carved out for self-care: shower, hair mask, shaving, the lavender lotion I love, a long skincare routine. It was going to be my reset. But halfway through the shower, something hit.
Hard.
The water was still running down my back when my chest started to tighten. My heart raced. My thoughts blurred into a single overwhelming wave of fear and failure. I sat down right there in the shower and cried. Eventually, I crawled out, wrapping a towel around my head and one around my body, and managed to shuffle to the rug just outside the shower. That’s where I stayed for a while, just sitting, breathing, waiting for the weight of it all to lift.
Meet the Monster: Anxiety
Anxiety is a monster. not a snarling, fanged creature, but more like a worried companion who doesn’t know how to relax. He sits on the edge of your plans, fidgeting. He doesn’t scream or roar, but he hums with nervous energy. And when he feels like you aren’t listening, he climbs up and sits on your chest—heavy and tense, trying to make you pause.
He’s not here to hurt you. He’s here because he’s scared for you.
He whispers worst-case scenarios, not to torment you, but because he genuinely believes preparing for the worst is the only way to protect you.
What if you can’t handle this?
What if you mess up?
What if everything falls apart?
He doesn’t mean to paralyze you—he’s just a little too focused on survival, not peace. His nervous pacing and constant interruptions are his way of waving red flags. But the flags aren’t always about real danger. He gets confused. He thinks an unanswered email is a saber-toothed tiger.
He’s trying to help… he just doesn’t have the right tools.
Understanding Anxiety & Panic Attacks
Anxiety is a physiological and psychological response to perceived threats. Panic attacks are sudden, intense waves of fear and discomfort that often mimic life-threatening emergencies. Your heart pounds. Breathing becomes shallow. You might feel dizzy, detached from your body, or overwhelmed with the urge to escape.
But here’s the thing: anxiety is not wrong.
Your body is trying to protect you. It's trying to help you survive. The problem is, it gets confused. It doesn’t realize that an overdue bill, a mounting to-do list, or even just the pressure to keep everything together isn’t the same as a predator chasing you through the woods.
And when we ignore him, suppress him, or try to fight him down, he just gets louder.
What Is Anxiety Really?
Biologist and stress researcher Robert Sapolsky, in hisbook Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, explains the evolutionary mismatch that makes anxiety so prevalent and so persistent today. Our bodies are wired for short bursts of survival stress, like our ancestors outrunning predators on the African plains. When the danger passed, so did the stress. They returned to homeostasis.
But in modern life, the “danger” never really ends. It’s the bills, the notifications, the deadlines, the overwhelm, the 3AM thoughts. We are chased not by lions, but by expectations. And our bodies respond to it all the same way they did 100,000 years ago, with a flood of hormones, tight muscles, and an urgent demand to do something.
Now imagine that happening every day, multiple times a day. No wonder we end up crying on the bathroom floor.
The Emotional Truth
In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown explores emotional landscapes and maps out our emotions to bring a level of understanding and clarity. One quote she highlights, originally from Elizabeth Gilbert, cuts deep:
"You are afraid of surrender because you don't want to lose control. But you never had control; all you had was anxiety."
That hits. Hard.
Brown places anxiety, worry, and vulnerability in the very first chapter of her book, a clear sign that these are foundational experiences of being human. Especially now, when we are so often expected to smile, grind, and keep it all together, even as our inner world unravels.
We don’t talk enough about how common this is. About how exhausting it is to live like this. And about how the support we need is often absent, replaced with hustle culture, toxic positivity, or the dismissive advice to “just relax.”
Anxiety: A Valid, Exaggerated Response
Anxiety isn’t random.
Anxiety is valid.
It holds real concerns, our need for safety, stability, connection. But it’s like a smoke alarm that can’t tell the difference between a house fire and burnt toast. It’s trying to warn you, but the volume is too loud for the situation.
When we treat anxiety like an enemy, it digs in deeper. But if we approach it with curiosity, if we look at the monster and say, “I see you, but I’m in charge now”, something shifts. It becomes possible to hear what it’s really trying to say.
A Reflection Exercise
If you’re feeling anxious or panicked, ask yourself:
What triggered me today?
What am I afraid will happen?
Is this a pattern I've seen before?
What do I actually need right now?
Let your answers come without judgment. Treat your anxiety like a scared part of you, not something to conquer, but something to comfort.
This practice isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about understanding. It’s about reminding yourself that you are not your anxiety, and that you’re allowed to hold space for your fear without letting it drive the car.
Try This: Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
This Ayurvedic breathing technique calms the nervous system and balances the left and right hemispheres of the brain.
Sit comfortably. Use your right thumb to close your right nostril.
Inhale slowly through your left nostril.
Close your left nostril with your ring finger. Open your right nostril.
Exhale slowly through your right nostril.
Inhale through your right nostril.
Close your right nostril and exhale through the left.
Repeat for 5–10 rounds.
This breathwork invites your mind into presence and tells your body, “You are safe now.”
Closing Thoughts
Anxiety doesn’t make you broken.
It makes you human.
The goal isn’t to banish the monster. It’s to understand him. To say, “I hear you, but I get to decide what happens next.”
Sometimes that looks like lavender lotion and a skincare routine. Sometimes it looks like sobbing on the rug. Sometimes it looks like breathing deeply and reminding yourself that you are safe, even when your nervous system hasn’t gotten the memo yet.
You are not alone.
You are not weak.
And you are not your anxiety.
You are the one who listens. Who breathes. Who stands back up when you’re ready, and carries on, with compassion and courage.
References
Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Random House.
Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don't get ulcers: The acclaimed guide to stress, stress-related diseases, and coping (3rd ed.). Holt Paperbacks.
The Monster in the Mirror: How Toxic Positivity Undermines Growth
We all know the voice:
“Just think happy thoughts.”
“Good vibes only.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
These words might sound kind. Uplifting, even. But beneath the surface, there is something sinister growing, a monster we don’t see until it’s already under our bed, in our mirror, or riding on our back like a shadow we can’t shake.
This is the Toxic Positivity Monster.
And make no mistake, it’s smiling.
How the Monster Grows
The Toxic Positivity Monster doesn’t arrive as a threat. It shows up wearing a sunhat and carrying affirmation cards. It tells you to “be grateful,” even when your world is falling apart. It whispers, “Stay strong,” when all you want to do is crumble. It insists, “Everything is fine,” even when you are drowning inside.
And because you’ve been taught to be polite, to be pleasant, optimistic, and palatable, you believe it.
You invite the monster in.
You tidy up your pain. You shove fear in the closet. You tuck anger under the bed. You smile even when your chest feels hollow.
You push forward with positivity because the alternative, pausing and feeling, is too raw, too vulnerable, too “negative.”
But here’s the catch: the monster feeds on suppression.
It gorges on repressed grief, muffled rage, abandoned dreams, and unspoken truths. It grows stronger every time you dismiss your real emotions with a forced smile or a hollow affirmation.
And eventually, the monster doesn’t just lurk, it drives.
The Slow Death of Authenticity
This is where the monster becomes most dangerous. Toxic positivity may sound sweet, but it’s corrosive to your authenticity. It demands that you wear a mask, and the longer you wear it, the more disconnected you become from your truth.
This disconnection doesn’t just stunt personal growth, it derails it completely.
Because when you refuse to face what’s real, you can't build anything real. The voice that says “everything’s fine” when it’s not will eventually suffocate your goals, your transformation, and your sense of self.
You cannot evolve while pretending everything is already perfect.
You cannot become whole while denying your cracks.
And you certainly can’t chase meaningful change while a monster is whispering, “Stay positive,” every time your inner truth tries to speak.
So What Now? How Do We Tame the Monster?
-We stop pretending.
-We start listening.
-We drag the monster out, not to slay it, but to understand it.
Toxic positivity is not defeated with more light. It’s softened through shadow.
Shadow work is the act of meeting the parts of yourself that feel too hard, too painful, or too “unacceptable” to love. It’s not about fixing yourself, it’s about seeing yourself.
Here’s a practice to get you started:
🕯 Shadow Work Reflection: Sit with the Monster
Create a safe space. Light a candle, get out your journal, and close the door. Make this intentional.
Name the emotion you've been ignoring. Is it anger? Resentment? Shame? Name it without judgment.
Ask it open-questions*** like:
“Why are you here?”
“What do you want me to know?”
“What are you protecting me from?”
Listen. Let the emotion speak. Let the monster tell its story. Don’t interrupt. Don’t fix. Just be curious.
Write down what you hear. Let it all spill out, no edits.
End with this journal prompt:
💬 What part of me have I been denying in the name of being ‘okay’? What would happen if I gave it space to exist?
You can use this feelings wheel to help you identify the emotions that come up. Why is this important? Labeling our emotions is one of the most powerful tools we have for emotional regulation and self-awareness. When we give a name to what we’re feeling, whether it's frustration, grief, shame, joy, or confusion, we activate parts of the brain that help us process rather than react.
Here’s how it helps:
It brings clarity out of chaos.
Emotions can feel overwhelming, especially when they show up in complex or conflicting ways. By labeling them, “I feel disappointed,” “I feel anxious,” “I feel unseen”, we reduce their intensity. Neuroscience shows that naming an emotion engages the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logic and decision-making, and quiets the amygdala, the brain's emotional alarm system (Tabac, 2022). In other words, labeling your feelings calms your nervous system.It shifts us out of judgment and into observation.
When we don’t name emotions, we often act them out or suppress them. Labeling turns the emotional experience into something we can witness rather than something we’re consumed by. It creates just enough distance to choose a conscious response.It gives us power.
Language is powerful. Naming a feeling gives us the ability to work with it. “I feel sad” is different from “I am sad.” The first implies a state we’re in; the second can feel like an identity. By labeling emotions, we shift from being the emotion to holding the emotion. That gives us room to move forward, to learn from it, and to heal.It helps us get to the root.
Sometimes what we think is anger is actually grief. What we label as apathy may be burnout. Precision in labeling allows us to address the real issue rather than just the surface reaction.It builds emotional intelligence.
The more nuanced our emotional vocabulary, the better we become at recognizing our inner landscape and the emotions of others. This fosters deeper empathy, communication, and connection in all relationships—especially with ourselves.
By learning to label what we feel, we create a map of our emotional world. We stop running from our feelings and start walking with them, with curiosity, compassion, and courage.
***Open questions cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”. It encourages deeper reflection and drives the conversation forward. So, when talking with your monster, ask it questions that will allow it speak with more than just a word or two.
Courage is the Antidote
Facing the monster doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re brave. It means you’re done living a half-life under the illusion of perfection. It means you are reclaiming your power, piece by honest piece.
Growth doesn’t happen in the light alone. It happens in the dark, too.
So if you feel stuck, exhausted, or disconnected from your truth, consider this:
You don’t need more positivity.
You need more honesty.
You need more wholeness.
You need you.
All of you.
Even the parts you’ve hidden away.
Especially those.
Because when you listen to the monster, you learn this truth:
It never wanted to hurt you.
It just wanted to be heard.
And the moment you listen?
The monster becomes a mirror.
Not something to be feared…
But something to be integrated.
Reference
Tabac, M. (2022, January 15). Emotional regulation: The simple neuroscience behind “name it to tame it.” Medium. https://medium.com/clear-yo-mind/emotional-regulation-the-simple-neuroscience-behind-name-it-to-tame-it-b22924bb543d
🌿 The Courage to Be You: Facing Adversity in Authentic Living
✨ Why Is Authenticity So Hard?
In last week's post, we explored why some people resist authenticity, it challenges their carefully built rules and structures that make the world feel predictable.
But when people turn up their noses at you for daring to be yourself, it can wear you down.
You might start to wonder:
❓ Is it really worth it?
❓ Is living authentically always going to feel like a battle?
❓ Wouldn’t it be easier to just fit in and stop rocking the boat?
That’s the question I want you to sit with as we dive into today’s discussion.
💡 A Lesson in Authenticity: My Story
I always tell my students, "I tend to be my own best example," and today is no different.
👩🎓 High school. Small town. 32 classmates.
We had all known each other since kindergarten, and the social structures were set early. Your reputation was fixed, no reinvention allowed.
For years, I tried to fit in.
✔️ I wore the trendy clothes.
✔️ I listened to the popular music.
✔️ I laughed at the right jokes.
But no matter what I did, I was never truly accepted.
Then, during my senior year, something clicked.
🚀 I was leaving soon.
🚀 The people I had tried so hard to impress wouldn’t define my future.
🚀 I was free.
So, I took a deep breath and did something radical:
✨ I wore what I actually liked.
✨ I cut my hair how I wanted.
✨ I got a tattoo (don’t worry, I was 18).
And the most surprising thing happened…
The same people who had ignored me for years started talking to me!
I was invited to parties.
I made new connections.
❗ But the world around me hadn’t changed.
❗ I had.
When I finally stepped forward as my authentic self, I gained something I had been chasing all along, genuine connection.
💭 Sometimes, the walls we feel around us are the ones we’ve built ourselves.
🔥 Courage Is the First Step to Freedom
Many assume authenticity leads to rejection, but the energy you put into the world is what people respond to.
So how do we build that courage?
Not with a huge leap. Instead, with small, intentional acts of bravery, because courage is a practice, not a personality trait.
✍️ Reflection Exercise: Small Acts of Courage
Try this step-by-step exercise to begin stepping into your authentic self in a way that feels safe and powerful. You can stack this with last week’s exercise:
🔹 Step 1: Start Small
Think of one small way you can express yourself authentically today.
💡 Maybe it’s…
✅ Wearing an outfit that makes you feel good.
✅ Speaking up in a conversation.
✅ Sharing an opinion you usually keep quiet.
🔹 Step 2: Notice How It Feels
📝 Journal about your experience.
Did it bring relief? Excitement? Nervousness?
What emotions came up?
🔹 Step 3: Observe Reactions (Without Judgment)
👀 How did people respond?
Were your fears accurate, or were they based on assumptions?
🔹 Step 4: Challenge Your Beliefs
Ask yourself:
🤔 Was my fear of rejection real, or was it a story I told myself?
🔹 Step 5: Level Up
Once you feel comfortable, take a bigger step:
🔥 Set a boundary.
🔥 Pursue a passion unapologetically.
🔥 Openly share your beliefs.
💪 Each small step builds momentum.
And suddenly, the mask you once wore feels unnecessary—because you are finally living as you.
🏆 Final Thoughts: The Power of Courage
Living authentically in a world that tries to box you in is no easy feat.
But as Thucydides once said:
“The secret to happiness is freedom… And the secret to freedom is courage.”
So today, I challenge you:
✨ Take one small step toward authenticity.
✨ See how it feels.
✨ Come back and share, what did you discover?
🖤 Did this resonate with you?
📢 Share this post to inspire others to take their first courageous step.
📩 Subscribe to my newsletter for more insights on embracing authenticity.
Living Authentically: A Struggle Worth Fighting For
In today’s social and political climate, there is a relentless push to put people back into boxes, boxes that feel safe, predictable, and easy to categorize. We crave order. We want to believe that we understand the world, that everything fits neatly where it belongs.
But what happens when someone **maybe you** doesn’t fit?
What happens when who you are defies easy labels?
Why Authenticity Feels Like a Battle
Society rewards those who conform. When we follow the script, we are met with approval, validation, and a false sense of belonging. But at what cost?
When we contort ourselves to fit into someone else’s vision of what we “should” be, we pay in confidence, energy, and inner peace.
We become exhausted by the constant masking.
We feel disconnected from our true selves.
We experience internal conflict, a feeling that something just isn’t quite right.
This discomfort isn’t imagined. It’s your soul fighting against being caged.
So how do we live authentically while still being able to navigate this world?
Step 1: Define What Authenticity Means to You
Authenticity isn’t about rebellion for the sake of rebellion. It’s about honoring who you truly are without fear or apology. But to do that, you need to define what authenticity means to YOU.
🌿 Reflection Exercise: "Who Am I Without the Shoulds?"
Find a quiet moment, grab a journal, and write freely for 5-10 minutes on this question:
If no one told me what I "should" be, who would I become?
If I didn’t fear judgment, how would I express myself?
What parts of myself feel the most alive when I embrace them?
Don’t overthink.
Let the answers flow.
Your authenticity already exists within you, you just have to uncover it.
Step 2: Start Small—Reclaiming Yourself Bit by Bit
You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Authenticity is built through small, consistent acts of self-expression.
🎭 Think of it as removing a mask, one layer at a time.
🌕 Practical Steps to Embody Your True Self
Wear something that makes you feel empowered. Maybe it’s a ring with deep meaning, a shirt that makes you feel bold, or even a fragrance that connects you to your inner self.
Engage in creativity without censorship. Sketch, dance, write, play music, even if no one sees it. Create for YOU.
Speak your truth in small ways. Try sharing your real thoughts in conversations instead of defaulting to what’s expected. See how it feels.
Unfollow what drains you. Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison. Curate your space to include voices that inspire authenticity.
Make space for joy. Sing in the car. Laugh loudly. Move your body in ways that feel good. Reclaim your right to take up space.
Step 3: Track Your Authentic Moments
Authenticity is a practice, not a destination. The more you engage with your true self, the more natural it becomes.
🌙 Tracking Exercise: "Authenticity in Action"
For the next 7 days, keep a journal of your authentic moments, the small ways you expressed yourself, spoke your truth, or stepped outside of expectations.
Each day, write:
What did I do today that felt truly “me”?
How did it make me feel?
What resistance (if any) came up?
How can I expand this tomorrow?
This isn’t about forcing authenticity; it’s about welcoming it back into your daily life.
Step 4: Expand & Habit Stack
Once one act of authenticity feels natural, add another. This is called habit stacking, layering new behaviors onto ones that already exist.
If you started wearing a meaningful piece of jewelry, next, try speaking your truth in conversations.
If you’re singing in the car, next, try dancing to a song at home.
If you’re creating art privately, next, try sharing a piece with someone you trust.
Before you know it, you’ll be living as your authentic self, not just in moments, but always.
The Struggle Is Worth It
The world will always try to put people back into neat little boxes. But you weren’t meant to fit, you were meant to be free.
And that freedom?
It’s worth every battle. 💫
Are you ready to reclaim your authenticity? Click here to sign up for more content and updates! ✨
Welcome to The Wild and The Wise
There comes a moment in life when you realize that everything you do, every choice, every interaction, every passion, comes from a deeper place of purpose. For me, that moment arrived on a quiet weekend, a realization that wove itself through the fabric of my work, my advocacy, my business, and my community involvement.
At the heart of it all is integrity, purpose, and service, but most importantly, it is rooted in the unwavering commitment to being authentically me. Even when it ruffles feathers. Even when it challenges the status quo. Even when it means walking a path that isn't always understood by others.
Embracing Every Side of Who We Are
Too often, we’re told we must fit into a single box, professional or free spirit, structured or intuitive, traditional or rebellious. But what if we can be all of it? What if true transformation comes from embracing every part of ourselves, the polished professional, the wild dreamer, the shadow-walking mystic?
I have built my life around uplifting others, fostering meaningful connections, and creating spaces of excellence, fairness, and empowerment. Whether in the classroom, in leadership, or in the quiet moments of one-on-one guidance, my mission remains the same: to help others step fully into their power.
Wisdom, Structure, and Freedom
Through my deep study of Maharishi Ayurveda and Transcendental Meditation, I have found a foundation that allows me to see beyond momentary emotions and approach every situation with clarity and balance. This is not about rigid discipline, it’s about holding ourselves to high standards because we deserve them. My students, my clients, and my community deserve to step into their future prepared, aware, and ready to create change.
The world needs bold souls who are willing to lead with intention, not conformity. It needs those who understand that wisdom is not just found in books, but also in intuition, experience, and the willingness to challenge old systems.
This Space is for You
This blog, The Wild and The Wise, is not just about my journey. It’s about yours. It’s about giving you tools, insights, and inspiration to create a life that feels true to who you are.
Change does not have to be a struggle. It can be intentional, sustainable, and aligned with the deepest truth of who you are. I invite you to explore, question, and grow. To step into the fullness of your power. To embrace both the Wild and the Wise within you.
Welcome to this space. I see you. Now, let’s begin. ✨🌿🔥